The Tex Files: That's What He Said

As a woman of size I am acutely aware of food. Where it is. How much there is. If anyone is watching me eat etc. People tell me that I am paranoid but it's not paranoia if it's true!

Last week (before I got the Food As Fuel thing) I spent the day with a girlfriend running big girl errands like getting the car inspected and going to court. I got up early, ran to the bank and picked up a smoothie. I didn't carry my big ass tote so I didn't have my snacks but that was ok...I had a plan. Yeah, my plan went to shit and there I was sweating and starving at the tax assessors office trying my hardest not to pass out before my number was called and my friend had to call 911. I didn't pass out but I did get my car registered! As soon as we left the tax assessors office we walked across the street and I got a Naked Protein shake and beef stick. All I heard was my friend KFlo in my ear saying, "Bitch, get you some protein!" Downed the shake and the shakes were gone so off we went to lunch.

Lunch was at a neighborhood sandwich shop that is know for their large portion. I only ate half my sandwich (portion control, baby!) but I had just downed a shake and went at the beef stick as if it was the last piece of beef I'd ever have in my mouth. (Get your minds out of the gutter lol.) Anywhoo, later we'd ended up meeting a guy friend of mine and I gave him the other half of my big ass sandwich. We all hung out for a bit, took my girlfriend home and then several hours later me and dude were chilling at a burger joint. He ordered this massive chicken fried steak burger. I had a grilled cheese. He ate his burger with, uh lets say gusto while I practiced my dainty bites and chewing my food 38 times. This is where it get uncomfortable.

This guy has been in my life on and off for over 25 years. He was my high school boyfriend. He knows me with a capital K and bold face n-o-w-e-s. So we have that kind of bust your balls friendship but still I was taken aback when he asked, "Are you starving yourself?"

Aww, shit. Really? "Uh, no. Why are you asking? Quite rudely I may add."

"Tex, I am not being rude. I'm asking because you gave me half of your lunch and now you are picking at a grilled cheese. You nearly died from that crazy diet. Remember?! I'm just making sure that you don't die. Eat for Christ sakes." It's true, he wasn't being rude. There was genuine concern in his voice and I saw it in his eyes. He was just looking out for me, like he always does. Still it made nervous that he noticed and even more so that he just blurted his concern out. I know that I should be grateful that I have people in my life who care but still...

So what I want to know from you guys is this: Am I a hypersensitive food freak or do people in general take notice of how and what you eat? Especially if you announced to your loved ones that you are on a "diet" or some other lifestyle change?

Holla if you hear me,
Tex

PS: Me and the food schedule are doing well. Patting myself on the back with THAT ONE. Stopwatch was an epic idea :-)