The Tex Files: Overcoming the Mind Fuck

There is a saying in coaching circles, "As you help others you help yourself." Last week I was chatting with a friend when I said, "You just really need to get over the mind fuck that you are not worthy of the super sassy sexy body you desire and the life that goes with it."

Mind. Blown.

Right now I am getting over my own mind fuck. I am getting over making poor choices and deciding that I am worthy of making better choices. More than that I am embracing the fact that I can move safely within this world and no longer need the buffer of blubber around my body.

Getting it together,
~Tex

Dj Meli Mel: Checking In

So, I haven't checked in for a while so I want to give an update. I'm doing really good. I actually look forward to my morning workouts now. I can't wait to see my total calories burned when I finish. My weight kind of dropped last week. It had been hovering and just like the bottom fell out, my weight dropped. That in itself has been enough motivation for me to keep going.

Now don't think this is easy! I'm doing my best with food. Weekends are still kind of a train wreck but I can see small improvements. I did a little better this past weekend but I'm still far from perfect. Small changes add up to big changes. My goal is to just keep getting better each week!

Asian Jamaican: Embarrassment

Today is the first time I've skipped a family function because I am embarrassed that my no no bad fat isn't gone from my body.  My cousin had a baby & the Bris was today.  I didn't want to go & have to hide under clothes & pretend to be okay with being there while I am self conscious.  Now I KNOW I could be way worse off in terms of body shape & how far I have to go, but I just couldn't do it today.  After being nauseated for the past two weeks & not being able to get my groove on with food the way I want to, I just couldn't be social.

I finally started back at yoga - which I really like.  I just like the way it makes me feel.  I sometimes get a wee bit jealous when I see/hear someone talk about how they got their hardcore workout on, but I have to remember that Yoga is where my body is right now.  I'm okay with that.  I'm okay with it because I can feel everything on my body get tight.  It's exciting & something to look forward to!

Again, food has been a bit fail & all over the place.  I can eat & be okay for a little while & then feel sick again.  I had to go through and reread people's journeys on Paleo and how they had flu like symptoms up until 2.5-3 weeks.  I've been through this, but I literally become non-functional when I go into fat burning mode.  The only thing that makes me feel good is the bad stuff, but I am doing that in moderation mixed in with the good.  I Really hope the universe is swinging my way.  I am usually a really good manifester, but I am feeling a little lopsided. 

Talk to ya soon.

AJ

The Tex Files: Info Overload

Have any of you experience this? You are tell someone that you are getting healthy. They then proceed to tell you everything that you need to do, eat, follow and swallow?

Ugh. So. Annoying.

How do you deal with this? I want to be polite, but I also want to find my way.

Late last week I found myself crazy busy. Went to some crazy cajun places for dinner with a friend and paid for that fried catfish the next day. The following day food still didn't seem appealing so I got a big ass smoothie to sip on throughout the morning. Someone asked if that was all I was eating, I said it was for the moment. The next twelve minutes was a health debate between no less than six people. I wasn't in a position to tell them all to shut their pie holes (they were clients), but at this point I am still learning, I need to find my own way. What worked for you, may not work for me. However, I clearly know that what I have done in the past didn't work, so don't think that I think I am Ms. Smartypants.

Anyhoo, that is what I have been up to.

Word to your Mother (Nature)
~Tex

Asian Jamaican: This is Hard

So like this shit's hard.  Ever since my surgery, everything I eat makes me sick to my stomach.  I think because I went uber healthy with the juicing & then started eating solid food, it has messed something severely up in my digestive system.  I hate this!!!  I would give ANYTHING to stop feeling sick.  Even drinking water makes me want to hurl.  NO I AM NOT PREGNANT - don't even think it.  I can't seem to find the right balance with my food as of yet & it's very frustrating for me because all I want to do is move forward.

Sigh...just truckin' along trying to figure out what my body wants me to do.  Btw...my glutes are super sore from that yoga class on Monday.  Anyway, that's it for now.

AJ

The Tex Files: Believing is Seeing

We all know the old saying, "Seeing is believing." In Law of Attraction circles you have to believe that something is possible before you can see the manifestation of it. You have to believe it to be true and your belief coupled with action makes your goal possible.

I am having trouble seeing myself healthy. It has been so long since I have been at a healthy weight with minimal health issues that I can't even imagine what that looks like. This makes me sad.

The good news is that I know in my heart that I can create the vision of the best possible me and then work towards that vision.

I guess what I am saying is that the vision is there...it's just out of focus.

Working towards clarity,
Tex

Asian: OMGWTFBBQSAUCE???

OMG-I've been living in serious denial for a long time.  I was getting ready to take a shower this morning & caught a glimpse of my right arm in the mirror...I did a double take & realized that I have bat wings, grandma arms, whatever...I kind of knew I had them & my right arm is worse because I had shoulder surgery & ever since then the muscle tone hasn't been the same.  Anyway, what I caught a true glimpse of was what kind of fat was hanging out in there.  I literally got sick, repulsed & almost threw up.  I could see the yellow of my fat in a certain area - you know, the kind you see when people have plastic surgery & they cut out the skin & flip it over & you see the yellow nasty fat.  All I can say is that I am sick just writing this.  

I see myself every day, but this really hit home.  That unhealthy fat is NOT supposed to be on my body.  Not for aesthetic reasons, but for just pure health.  Ugh...So I feel like today was my Aha moment (as Tex had mentioned).  No cupcake, junk food, coke or anything is worth feeling & looking this way.  I had a really good lunch date with Tex today & we hit on a lot of the emotional/mental aspect of my life and well, baby steps.  But, I feel encouraged & believed in :)  That is worth the feelings of detox and cleansing my body.  

So, my weekend was kind of a bust in regards to food, but I went to yoga this morning & it literally was like the first time I took Crossfit & I almost threw up.  I tried a new studio for convenience, but I am going to sign up at the one I like. I STILL feel sick. I am not drinking a damn coke though!!!!  BAT Motherfucking Wings BEGONE....Along with the rest of the unhealthy fat....

I hope everyone is well.  XXOO Asian